"Britain on Strike" - do you finally acknowledge we're important, then?

Raise your hands if you can tell me what the strike today was all about? No? Neither could this morning's reporters! It never fails to amaze me the audacity of their inaccuracies! The government have just announced that single mothers will be hardest hit in the benefit cuts. So what do they do? To cover their own flaws, they rally them up against the teachers.  Reps from ATL and the NUT were interviewed, MP's were interviewed and single mothers were interviewed. Where were the ordinary teachers being interviewed? Considering we're the ones being hit, we're the ones taking action, I didn't see a single regular classroom teacher interviewed.  So, what were "we" striking against?  3 things:

Retirement age being raised to 68;
Contributions being increased (currently 6.4% non negotiable);
Lower pension payments when we do retire.

Just to put this in completely selfish terms (it is my blog after all), what does this mean to me?  Well, I will be teaching stage fighting and break dancing until I turn 68. I will still be expected to leg it across the playground to break up two 15yr olds fighting and to carry out all my regular teacher duties. That also includes giving CPR (the updated version, of course, it changes every year), restraining students and teaching a full 25hr week timetable.  If I can't fulfil my duties, I will be sacked (as would anyone), if the school is kind enough to take it easy on my when I'm pushing 70 and anyone finds out, they will be sued for age discrimination.  I believe the term "screwed" becomes applicable here!  At the minute I pay approximately £120 into my pension and this increases each year with year's service.  If it increases as they plan, I will be paying nearer to £200 per month.  Teachers get no tax break, we pay the same as everyone else, so with £650 tax and NI, I will have to move home some time soon and there is absolutely no way I can afford a house (despite being very savvy with money in my early years, I'm clinging to my house deposit for dear life).  When I eventually retire I will get a pension I can live ok on, not "rolling in money", "not retire to Spain" money, but I'll be ok as long as I don't have a mortgage anymore.  With the cuts, I'll need to take out a second pension just to get by.

I love teaching.  I love my kids.  I love showing them that they can do anything their heart desires - after all, someone had to land on the moon and someone has to cure cancer!  I may "only teach drama and dance," but everyday I remind kids that the world is theirs for the taking, that they will make their place in history and that they are the centre of their own world. Some kids go home to parents who call them thick; some kids go home to parents who are unconscious drunk; some kids don't go home, they go to a care home; some kids go home to a loving caring family who tell them the same thing I do.  Some people build cars, computers or trains.  I'm in the business of building people!  And one day those people will be the future. I don't just teach children to be actors and dancers, I teach them to be decent human beings.  There is huge job satisfaction in what I do, but that's all there is. If anyone wanted to be a teacher now, I'd tell them straight that it's a thankless, moneyless job; they will work all hours and when they're not working they'll worry. The holidays don't exist, it's a chance for us to work from home! If you don't know a teacher, or if you aren't one, you won't understand.  I'd be happy for any news reporter to spend a day with me.  I'll introduce them to child protection, data, GPG's, assessment, CPD, cross curricular, extra curricular, going beyond your remit, sleepless nights, marking. You want overtime? It doesn't exist.  

I'm not a marte, I knew what I was getting into when I trained and I wouldn't do any other job in the world.  But don't you dare stand there on your pedestal and tell me I'm wrong to stand up for my profession. How many highly skilled, highly qualified, highly responsible professionals get paid as little as we do?  I don't agree with strike action, I never have and I never will, I believe there is another way, but I will also support my colleagues who do believe it's right, because it's their choice - it's one of the few choices we have left!

It's a bit like a paper cut!

Life's a funny thing.  When you're feeling down, the slightest thing will make the world stop, like running out of staples or forgetting your lunch.  I refer to it as the paper cut effect; it's tiny and insignificant, but hurts like hell.

There are so many incredible people out there.  I've never forgotten Mitch; it's been two years now and I still think about him most days.  I've never forgotten about Michael either.  I've met some brilliant people and some not-so-brilliant people, but everyone has reminded me of what I have - I'm surrounded by friends and a family who love me and who go out of their way to help me.  I'm very lucky.

So, when things get a bit rubbish, remember, paper cuts may hurt, but they don't last forever.

Goodbye.

So I took the love of my life to my best friend's wedding at the weekend. We had a fabulous time; she looked gorgeous, the photographer was brilliant, food was unbelievable, venue was perfect - easily the best wedding of all time! I've known the bride for 18yrs so we're pretty close and I've known her bridesmaid for 4yrs; we're all very similar so hit it off straight away and the rest is history.

History being a literal term when I walked in on the aforementioned love of my life with the bridesmaid. Having followed mine and JP's relationship for the past few months (and possibly the 2yrs before that), I've no doubt you're screaming dump the b***ard and key his car while you're at it!  Well, that's exactly what I did (well, not the car bit).  After such a brilliant day; sun shining, dancing continually to every song and managing not to cry at the speeches, luckily the "incident" happened at the end of the night and it was for my eyes only. I got to our hotel room, changed while sobbing on the phone to my sister (who after a quick calculation worked out she was still well under the limit), and got the hell out of there without the bride seeing me - yes, it included shimmying down the fire escape!

After an incredibly long argument, I finally made it clear that never wanting to see him again also includes speaking, texting, listening to and ever being within 100metres of each other.  He also now understands that telling me he loves me and hooking up with my friend within a 3minute window is not a smart move.  I think my feelings can be summarised in my re-titling of the well known book "Women are from Venus, Men are from Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell".

I have several targets for the next few months: stop crying (I'm the least emotional person I know and yet a complete wreck for the past 24hrs), remember all the reasons why he's the scum of the earth, realise that everything he told me was a complete lie and that he is the idiot, not me, stay sane, keep in touch with family and friends who have the same low opinion of him and then eventually, forget he ever existed!

Steps to recovery...
(Updated as they happen)

Day 1:

• Accept that you will not stop crying and so don't bother putting your mascara back on.
• Accept that it's ok to sit in your PJ's with a bottle of wine and a corkscrew then cry into the empty glass.
• Do Look Back in Anger - he said some awful things - write them down while you remember them.
• Realise you made a mistake by thinking he's the only man in the world.

Day 2:

• Get your arse in the gym to work out your anger (plus it realises good mood hormones - that's as scientific as I get).
• Remember: how much he hated your job/that he always told you you're wrong/that he made you feel so stupid at times/that he told you you were thinner when you met while looking at you in your favourite dress (when actually you were 1/2 stone heavier)/that he's obsessed with money and honestly believes it's a measure of success/plus any other crap thing he said to you.
• You may still cry, but only for the next 12hrs so time yourself!

Day 3:

• Ok it's time to stop crying for good! He's not worth the dehydration!
• Acknowledge the positive things about him, but always tie them in with the many fatal floors. ie. Yes, he'd make a brilliant Dad, but he'd also make a terrible husband, so stop letting your ovaries do the thinking.
• Don't be around happy couples - it resembles being drop-kicked in the stomach into a brick wall!
• Don't be around miserable couples - you do not EVER want to be referred to as "the bitter one" or "the man hater".
• Realise he is a one-off and that there are lots of genuinely good men out there, you've just been really REALLY unlucky!
• For christ's sake start eating again. Consuming 500calories in 3days while also hitting the gym may give you a flat stomach, but it will also give you bad skin and black eyes.

Day 4:

• Talking of black eyes, insomnia is proving a problem as you swerve to avoid the central reservation (again). Go to the pharmacy and get some sleeping tablets.
• DO NOT PHONE HIM.
• DO NOT "DRUNKENLY" TEXT HIM.
• If you do feel the need to contact him, email your sister instead, she's already promised to delete anything titled "JP" without reading it. It makes you feel better and you are safe in the knowledge that he never received it and your sister is still ignorant to your insanely irrational ravings.

Day 5:

• It's time to check the talent! Yes, it may seem a bit early, but it's important to realise he's not the only man in the world or indeed the most gorgeous/intelligent man in the world. It's time to go ahead and start comparing!
• Get active. Join a club, join the gym, join everything going. Get out there and meet people, don't ditch your old friends, that's never a good option, but make new ones, they'll remind you you're not grotesque!
• Make a massive change. Your car, your hair colour, both?! Think Sliding Doors - Gwyneth looked so much cuter with cropped hair.

Day 6:

• It may be time to stop talking about him. Yep, it's a toughie, but you've spoken about him everyday to the point where you're sick of your own stories!
• Have a random night out. It may be at the local pub, you might end up singing round Covent Garden. Grab your friend(s) - it only takes one - and have a night out. Wear your favourite outfit and be a social butterfly while strutting your stuff.

Day 7:

• Don't Get Mad, Get Over It!
• Move on. He broke your heart and you'll probably relapse every now and then.  But remember how he treated you, how he humiliated you, how he let you down and disrespected you. 

I'm so much better than JP. I would never betray my best friend, I'd never think of hurting him. He never deserved me or what I gave him. Yes, I loved him. Yes, I'd have done more and given him more. Yes, some may call me a mug because of it, but when I look back over the past 2years, I wouldn't have done anything differently. I've realised I was right all along; when I love, I love more than anything, I don't hate for long, but I hurt for months.

Think Adele - "The scars of your love remind me of us, They keep me thinking that we almost had it all". You lost me, JP. And you're going to miss me more than I miss you!