I woke up and it was two years ago.

I woke up this morning and it was two years ago.  Mum has been re-diagnosed with cancer and this time it's come back worse, she has to have chemo for a bit. The frustration of spending the last eight months trying to convince her to go back to her ontologist finally took it's toll. To top this I spoke to my boyfriend the night before her tests and told him I was convinced it had come back, his response was to end the relationship saying he wouldn't be able to handle it if I went into meltdown.  So we'd been together six months and now suddenly it's over.  The stupid thing is he keeps telling me I can phone him whenever I need someone and that we can even meet up ... I'm confused, isn't that exactly the reason he ended it? Well, as usual I'm great, funny, gorgeous and all the other adjectives designed to make him feel better.

So I've made a decision - I'm going to be ok.  If I cry then ok, if I scream and shout then ok, if I calmly carry on with life then ok.  I'm sick of living in a soap opera full of ex-boyfriends who sleep with bridesmaids and run at the first sign of trouble and I'm sick of being told I'm perfect and it's them not me - durr, I know it's you, you're an arse, the only thing wrong with me is I keep dating arses.

Mum will get through this, I'll get through this, we'll all get through this - I don't know how, but we've done it so far...