"I feel I have nothing to offer you!"

I've never understood this term; I wasn't aware that the exchange of property, wealth or possessions was part of my current dating culture.  This is the 'excuse' Mr Barman gave me when he finished our little fling-ette (not a full fling, given that we only went as far as bonus snogging).

The very simple answer is this:

• If I want to be swept off to lavishly expensive restaurants, I'll drive myself, or get a taxi so we can both drink, and anyway, I'm unlikely to have anything to wear if we went more than twice!
• Ok so we can't make wild passionate love on your kitchen floor, but 1) what kind of girl do you think I am? and 2) my floor's fine for that!

Why do I like spending time with you?  I once told you you're the most interesting person I've ever met and you have a smile that makes me want to instantly rip your clothes off.

Do you need to offer me anything else?

Do we share good news as quickly as we share bad news?

This is the question I've found myself wondering a lot over the past few weeks.  I've got my girlfriends from university and although we live spread across the country, we keep in touch all the time and meet up whenever we can.  Over the years we've seen each other through births, deaths and marriages and none of them mine, in fact whenever we catch up, it's usually me that struggles to find good news (I'm usually the deaths bit).  For a while I've just thought it's because the round-robin-style emails have caught me at a bad time, but now I'm not so sure.  Right now I'm mid-sentence in my latest reply to them and I've decided to just say positive things.  Having shared the cancer, JP, job-hating, homeless information over the past few months, I'm done with the depressing nature of my own correspondence.  Here's my problem: I don't have anything positive to say.  Sadly, one of the girls, is included by default and not by choice on my part - we had a big argument in the final year that we never really recovered form - so whenever I try to make a bad situation sound good (ie. I've had to move home, but it means I can save quicker for a house deposit) she always focuses on the bad and makes a point of it!

There are good things in my life at the minute: Mum's healthy and mostly sane (at the minute), my beautiful baby nephew is gorgeous, healthy and happy, I've not been sacked for telling SLT exactly what I think of the system they're running.  There are things that aren't awful, but they're not exactly inspiring or email-worthy.  I'm now starting to wonder if I just don't share good news when it comes around.  For example, I'm never the one to start these email chains.  Maybe, the next time I have some amazing news, I'll instantly email everyone: "Guess what guys, not being able to afford food means I've got into my Karen Millan dress..." Truth is, I'm getting so unbelievably bored of the sound of my own depressing voice that I need to do something - with my ankle still being bad, I can't kick myself up the bum!  So, time to make some more changes.  I've already fulfilled my new year's resolutions, maybe I should make some more a bit earlier than usual?  Learn guitar, learn Spanish, go rock climbing?

As for the email, I've decided not to answer their questions and just ask them how their lives are; hopefully they won't spot the massive elegant in the room!

It's official - I don't understand men!

So, I've been seeing this guy for a month and things were going really well. We were still in the 'getting to know you' stage, spending time together, going for coffee, drinks, dinner etc, it was going well.  He was very full on from the start, texting me every day, saying he couldn't wait to see me or that he was thinking of me.  It was nice. It was constant, so I became very aware of not rushing into things - particularly after JP.  It all hit the fan when he told me he didn't want to see me again... what?  The previous day he'd been telling me how much he liked me and how he'd wanted to ask me out since we met (a year ago!), and then like a light switch, he finishes it.  I'm not even sure what he finished! I thought we were still getting to know each other, we were taking things slowly, it was fine, no one was making any plans further than next weekend! Well, I wasn't, maybe he was?!  I asked him outright what happened, now he's not talking to me.

Any explanation please?

My brother in law said to be the other night "take things slowly, don't rush into it, just have fun and enjoy being around each other. If I wasn't married to your sister, I'd date you!"  It was an odd compliment, but he made a good point shortly afterwards: "Although, if I'm honest, sometimes you're so full on, you scare me, I'm not sure I'd stick around."  So I was really careful to take this one slowly (and my brother agrees, I was completely sane). So what happened?  I'm gutted!  Not the same kind of gutted as I was when JP broke me, but I really liked this guy. It took a hell of a lot to agree to meet with him, my heart has steel bars surrounding it and I was fine to keep it that way for a while.  I even began to think that the public health warning JP stuck to my forehead that night was beginning to fade.

So which one of us is mad?

The first time we went out, he introduced me to ALL his friends - literally, all of them descended on me in one big swoop. Thank god I'm a social butterfly, I was a hit, they loved me and thankfully they all have the same sense of humour as me.  He immediately told his sister and his Dad about me and they both wanted to meet me right away - luckily he put them off - that might have been too much even for me!  He is good friends with my sister and they know the same people, and he's been talking about me non-stop.  He was definitely the instigator of all 'rushing'.  One theory to emerge (yes, I know, I claim not to analyse, but I'm a girl - we all do it!) is that he was feeling insecure and decided to back away first.  Another was that the other night was pretty much us deciding to 'date' rather than 'get to know each other' and he freaked out.  I just don't get it, and with him now ignoring me, I don't think I'll ever know.

On a really bad 5minutes, I think it's me and that this is how it's going to be.  Maybe I'm one of those people who have great 'dates' but as soon as it gets serious, he'd rather be with the girl next door?!  The irony is the previous day I got a text from an ex suggesting me "catch up soon ;)" - I said no because I'd just met someone.  He apologised and said he felt really guilty.  Odd that he didn't feel guilty when he was lying next to the girlfriend he lives with while texting me.... he's such a git, I told him straight never to contact me with that suggestion again!

Oh well, another month another guy! Shame though, I really liked this one. He was the most interesting person I've met for ages, he was really funny, he (I think) cared about me, he wasn't perfect, but for the first time I didn't look into the future, I didn't care about his bizarre choice in TV viewing - why would I? It's not like I was the one planning a wedding!!