The Other Woman

"I'm sorry." That's what the bitch said. At my best friend's birthday, the bitch who slept with my boyfriend tells me she's sorry.  At least she'd waited until I was half way down the road after the party had ended.
"No you're not."
"What? I am. I'm sorry."
"No. You're not. Sorry is the easiest word in the world to say and the hardest to mean. So don't insult my intelligence by pretending you mean it."
She doesn't understand.

"Do you have any idea the guts it took me to get here today? The guts it took to walk through that door and see everyone who was at the wedding, everyone who knows he arrived with me and left with you? And why? Because you're better than me? Because you're easy? Because he instantly fell in love with you at first sight? The stupid thing is, I've considered all these possibilities, but actually, no one is thinking that, no one is judging me for what you two did, because these are my friends, and 18years of friendship counts for more than a quick fumble.
"You're not sorry, because you don't think you did anything wrong. When I saw you kiss him, I told you how it felt, I told you he'd just metaphorically punched me in the stomach. You carried on. You looked me in the eye and said you're sorry, you looked me in the eye and said you hated yourself for being 'one of those girls'.  Then you slept with him.

"Don't you dare tell me you're sorry. Don't you dare try and make me forgive you.  You know he told me he loved me just before he took you to bed?  Didn't you?  Would that have made a difference? You certainly knew I loved him.  And I actually think he meant it too, I think he did love me. I think you were a quick fix, something new seeing as though I'd walked out on him.

"Has he called you, by the way? He hasn't? There's a surprise.  I saw that one coming, because he's incredibly shallow - most men carry photos of their children/friends in their wallet, he carries photos of his car!  You see, I know him.  You think you meant anything to him? You're naïve.  Brighton from London is too much effort.  Do you even know his surname?  Do you know he refuses to acknowledge his middle name coz it's his Dad's? Do you know why he hates his Dad so much? Do you know he always wanted to be in the RAF but failed the recruitment because of his eyesight?  That's because you meant nothing to him.  That's what 2yrs of friendship brings you.  I mattered.  However much he f***ed up, I mattered to him.

"So, now you are 'one of those girls'.  You are someone women talk about behind their backs, you are kept away from husbands. You think the people inside look at you in the same way? You think our best friend doesn't wonder if you'll try it on with her husband now? You think Kate doesn't wonder about Jack? You think Sophie doesn't watch whenever you talk to Steve?  It says nothing about the men; if JP can tell me he loves me the day before I meet his family, tell me in all sincerity that we'll be together forever, then sleep with you, who knows what tricks you'll pull on them.  They may like you, but they'll never trust you.  You see, it's a double standard, the oldest known.  Men can sleep around and call it 'wild oat sowing', but women who do are considered whores!  It's not particularly fair, but it's the way society works. ie. You don't sleep with the man your friend's in love with - it's just not bridesmaid etiquette!  (JP is certainly not blameless, in fact if you think this rant is bad, you should hear what I've said to him!) 

"When you go back inside and everyone turns to look at you, ask yourself this, was sex with a complete stranger worth it?"

As I walked away I wished to anyone who was listening that I'd never taken JP to the wedding. I wished I'd never agreed to meet his family.  I wished I'd never gone to bed with him believing everything he said.  I wished I'd never fallen in love with him.  I wished he'd never walked into the office that day and said "what are you doing in here?"  I wish I'd never met him.

Rule number one - do not talk to me when one of us is naked!

Since joining the gym again, I've remembered all the ridiculous things that happen!  My brother and I used to spend ages swapping "Gym Horror Encounters" !  (They're much more dramatic than "stories")  So I thought I'd share a few with you, just to confirm that you are not alone in your endeavours...

• After a day at work I went straight to the gym and had the regular-bra-to-sports-bra change over.  A very simple process and one I've been doing since the age of 12 (I was an early developer!!).  However, at the crucial moment I was approached by a middle aged woman who came towards me with her hands out "do you need a hand, dear?"  NO!

• Rule number one - do not talk to me when one of us is naked!

• While running (I know, I'm so excited I can call myself a runner now) I usually end with a sprint.  I was sprinting as normal, but I didn't realise how much I swing/punch my arms when I run, so I accidentally smacked the emergency stop button mid-stride, cam to an abrupt stop fell forward and smacked my head on the treadmill dashboard!  Pressed Quick Start and carried on, looking around to see who saw - luckily it was a quiet day!

• My brother used to go to his very very posh gym before work, so standing at the sink shaving was not unusual.  So imagine his distress when the guy next to him put his foot up on the sink... Yep, apparently not everyone shaves their face in the gym!

• My sister goes to the same posh gym and was doing arm dips ( the one where the knee plate drops down and you're really high up).  Unfortunately, something really funny happened and she got the giggles, unable to carry or or stop she became stuck with her elbows locked very high off the ground.  The giggles turned to hysterics when she realised she could not get down.  Luckily the guy next to her (also at this point in hysterics) got off and helped her, just in time to see my brother walk past wondering what the hell had happened!

• After my first (and last) spinning class the other week, I left feeling slightly like jelly, went to walk down the stairs and stacked it all the ay into reception - think Run Fat Boy Run - sadly that one was witnessed!

• Women tend to wander around the changing room totally naked, but as long as their hair is in a towel, it's apparently ok!  Hmmm.  I overheard two strangers comparing underwear the other day - why don't you put it on then?!

• According to some male friends who also swap changing-room-ettiquette stories, men are worse.  It seems that pants are the the very last thing to put on, if only they could go on over trousers, eh? Men will put shirt, tie, jumper, jacket on first, will dry their hair first, shave first (see previous story - enough said), and at the last minute before they walk out, they'll put their pants on... why?!  Is there a particular al fresco moment that cannot wait till their at home?!

No doubt more will be added as the hilarity continues.  I like being at the gym again!