The Beginning of the Beginning.

This morning, for the first time in weeks, I woke up happy.  I didn't jump out of bed after 3hrs sleep and clean the flat (the usual weekend routine), I didn't throw on the laptop and immediately start planning work I've already planned; plan B in case plan A goes wrong! It's the first time in ages I've woken up relaxed and stayed that way.  Right now I'm making an enormous dinner, that will also serve as lunch tomorrow, it's taking ages and I don't care.  Good news already that I'm eating again; food is the first thing to stop when I'm stressed - although must be careful I still get into my Karen Milan dress!

I spent the whole of last night talking to JP about absolutely nothing! Well, not quite nothing, but a large proportion of it was rubbish.  We did the usual work, family, friends, life in general then the conversation led on to absolute rubbish just because we wanted to talk.  I haven't talked in ages - I don't mean I've gone for selective mutism or anything, I've just not had the patience for inane chit chat - if you want to say something, say it, if not shut up coz your voice is irritating me.  Oh yes, I've been a delight to live with!  I need to start doing the things I enjoy again; I'm back at the gym, I'm cooking, I'm seeing my friends and family more, it's a small start, but a start nonetheless.  My next mission will be going up to Glasgow to see my best friend over Easter (that reminds me, I need to check flights).


It was all looking a bit dim, but now a tiny little light is getting through.  We'll see...