The Secret to Good Sex (?)

I like to class myself in the 'normal' category when it comes to my sex life.  I'm not the biggest prude, I'm not the biggest whore - as Andie McDowell said in Four Weddings, "less than Madonna, more than Princess Di, I hope".  However, I recently had a conversation with my sister that made me very concerned, not particularly about me, but about her.  We were on the train heading for a night out with a girl I used to work with when she turned to me (still sober, I must add) and said "you'd be amazed what people do".
I replied with, "I doubt it, I went to university!"  This was prompted by my flatmate sending me a text that apologised for her not saying goodbye to us, but she was dressed "a bit slutty" and she didn't want me to see her.  This fascinated my sister - what on earth was she wearing.  I explained that we'd all done the sexy underwear and long coat routine, it was probably that.  The problem being, she never had.  We then got chatting (still sober) about her friend who performs a particular act on her husband, which completely freaked my poor sister out when she openly/drunkenly told her.  My sister turned to her other friend for conformation that she was correct in her shock - her friend agreed.  This led me to seriously worry about the state of her sex life, as sadly, the act in question was pretty basic (for fear of offending, I shall refer to everything indirectly or euphemistically).

Later in the night and after several cocktails (I really do mean several), my friend posed the question "so, what's the worst sex you've ever had?"  This made my sister spit her drink out in a water-feature-like manner at the shock of such a question.  As drunken girlies do, we compared stories - I must point out that this was not in a derogatory way, more like sharing comedy stories of situations we've found ourselves in.  We also got talking about the best and the most memorable sex.  One story in particular was when my then boyfriend and I got a little bit film-inspired and as he lifted me up and swept me into the bedroom, he smacked my head on the doorframe.  Another was when he over-dramatically ripped my phone from my hand mid-text, threw it across the room and passionately kissed me - sadly the phone went straight through the open window and he had to climb out and get it.  Incidentally the same boyfriend; he was fun.  It turns out that my antics were shocking to my sister; I don't think she judged me as a complete trollop, but I'm fairly sure it was an eye-opener, and no doubt she regretted posing the initial question on the train that day.

I've had boyfriends, but I've always been in a relationship and I've never had a one-night stand.  I'm always safe, I get regularly checked out, and I draw the line at anything that compromises hygiene!  The aforementioned ex boyfriend was probably the most memorable one, because he was so much fun.  My ex before him was very (very) intense and everything had to be perfect.  He used to use the term "making love", which is, of course, lovely when it happens, but he had to make every time special.  It was way too much pressure (he then stalked me for six months after we broke up, so it wasn't the best relationship in the world).  This one came along at the perfect time, I really needed to be reminded that sex can be fun as well as romantic.  He was also strangely athletic, so it was much cheaper than a gym membership too!  There are several variables to a healthy sex life: location (that covers a range of towns as well as rooms), clothing (again, covers a range of costumes/underwear/colours/heels etc), positions (see Cosmo for more information on that one), styles (romantic, fast, gentle, athletic, experimental - there's lots of options).  The most important thing is feeling comfortable and confident.  You should never do something you don't want to do and I am a strong believer in doing what feels right with someone it feels right with; I guess that's the reason I couldn't answer my friend's earlier question as to what the worst has been.  I've never had bad sex (touch wood - please don't curse me now).  I watch Sex and The City and laugh along with the moments of bad kissing, monotonous/repetitive/non-responsive action, bad hygiene, cringe-worthy boyfriends, but I've never actually experienced one for myself.  I've always wanted to be with the person, I've always been sure, I've never been intimidated or felt under pressure, I've always been intune to what they want and clear about what I want.  Maybe it's because we've always got to know each other first (I don't follow the three-date-rule, I follow the when-I-know-you rule).  Maybe that's the secret to good sex...

Given my sister's shock (please remember she's five years older than me), I had to consult my other older sister who is much more like me.  She agreed.  I'm normal.  As is she.  Now she is worried about our sister's sex life too!