Whether backwards or forwards, I'm certainly moving!

This feels like a step backwards, but is being made so that I can take a giant leap forwards, so technically this is a run up...

Having been kicked out of the flat (unnecessarily long story about being stitched up by my flatmate and not having enough money to find a place on my own again), I've made the painful decision of moving home for a bit.  For any adult who has lived away from parental-types for any period of time, you'll understand what a complete nightmare this is.  It took a long time for me to realise it's not the end of the world: yes, I'm having to put my dining table, my TV, my kitchenware and my fabulous sofa into storage.  Basically everything I've worked for for the past two and a half years will be boxed up, locked up and it will see daylight when I'm financially solvent again!  For a long time I felt like I was back from uni (five years ago) again and having to come home and start my 'normal' life, but finally I'm seeing it for what it is.  This is a great opportunity to save (a hell of a lot of) money so that I can buy a house in the next couple of years, something I wouldn't be able to do while paying extortionate rent.

Another positive is the amount of people I've had offer me a place to live: Mum, Dad, oldest sister and next sister up, plus numerous temporary sofa's.  All have been completely serious and it's been really nice knowing that I've got people around me who will step up when I need them.  After a shockingly s**t year, this was the final straw, but in the calm/cool light of day, isn't so bad (of course, give me a month of living back with Mum and I might change my mind).  So, it looks like I'll be spending a few months with one parent then the other, with the weekends at my sister's.

I've thought a lot about how my situation looks to people, well, like me, you know, the judgemental kind.  I massively judge people who are my age and still living at home, I just don't see the need for it; I have a responsible job, friends, responsibilities, so why should I be living with parents?  Well, the fact is, because the property market sucks and I've only just cleared the debt I built up over living away from home, meaning that if I'm going to remain a sensible, responsible person, I am going to need money.  To a judgemental person like me, I appear to be completely lame.  To my not-so-judgemental self, it's the difference between buying a house next year and buying a house in five years.  This understanding of shutting up and getting on with what you have to do, has partly come courtesy of Mr Barman.

Mr Barman has drifted through my life for the past two years and, as the name suggests, he works in the bar near my sister's house.  To my judgemental self (I really don't like this personality trait, but at least I acknowledge it's existence and I try not to let it out too often) I don't like that he's older than me, lives at home and works in a bar - in fact, my sister (who knows him much better and really likes him) frequently tells me off for judging a book by it's cover (i.e.. him).  Since getting to know him a bit better, I've had to consider changing his name to Mr Dark Horse.  As if to metaphysically slap me in the face, he has had more of a life than me in every way...  The reason he's living at home is to look after his Dad (the way of me choosing between my parents is that Mum is not coping with her diagnosis, so we're hoping that having me around focus' her a bit more), he was a firefighter for three years, but was diagnosed with a medical condition and was forced to leave the career he loved, he spent a couple of years travelling and taught English to children in South America, he speaks a few languages... Yep, that was the giant slap in the face I needed to realise just how wrong my judgemental self is.

The fact is, it doesn't matter what people like me think; where I live and who I live with does not determine who I am or what kind of person I am.  Anyone who is worth talking to will get to know what I've done and why I am where I am; if they judge me for it, then they're not worth knowing.  I really really hope Mr Barman never finds out how I judged him before I knew him.  More than that, I hope I stop judging people at all.