My beautiful 11 week old nephew had a bit of a rash and a cold. My dutiful sister took him to the GP who said it was a cold and just a standard rash. After a night of constant crying she phoned NHS direct and they said to go to straight to A&E. We didn't panic, after all the GP said he was fine. My brother-in-law stayed at home and entertained the guests from their other child's 2nd birthday party and I took my sister to the hospital with the baby. It was when the receptionist ran us to the children's ward that my sister fell apart. She's always been the calm, logical one, she's the one who holds me together, what the hell do I do? So I said the only thing that came into my head, "don't panic until they give us something to panic about - ok?" She said ok and we got into the children's ward, then the treatment room, then the isolation room and finally the team of paediatricians. Being rushed from room to room this quickly was bad, they were about to give us something to panic about. My sister was terrified and I had no idea what to do, I kept telling her not to panic, not to pre-empt what might happen. The doctor told us we did the right thing bringing him in and that he was very very poorly. I kept hold of my sister in one arm and my nephew in the other and kept listening to what the doctor was saying, it wasn't for a few minutes I realised I'd stopped breathing. My sister went outside to phone her husband and asked me to stay inside while they fitted the cannula and started the antibiotics and fluids. Having to hold down a tiny baby made me feel two things: admiration for the doctor doing the procedure and total and utter fear. Fear of not being able to help my sister, fear of losing him and fear of falling apart.
Over the next 48hours we were told to expect the worst. All the doctor could say was it was an infection and it was serious. Then we were told it was meningitis. I went to work during the day and got back to the hospital most evenings to give them a break so they could see their other son.
For a whole week he was in hospital on so many drips, monitors and medication. The only things that went through my head were the possibility of brain damage, amputations, septicaemia, blindness or being deaf. It was horrible. It was terrifying. It was so many things I cannot even describe. It was not until it was over that I realised it was shock. That gut-rentching split-second when you drop a knife in the kitchen and you don't have shoes on - that was the feeling, but constant and it lasted a whole week until he came home.
The short story is that three other babies had presented with the same symptoms that month so the antibiotics they started immediately cured what he had - luckily it was the same infection and the meningitis was viral not bacterial.
It's only now I look back and think "we don't do anything by halves, do we?" Mum can't have a bladder infection, she has to have cancer, my nephew can't have a tummy bug, he has to have meningitis... When Mum was diagnosed my brother-in-law told me I was emotionally detached and possibly dead inside. He was trying to shock me into understanding myself and to realise I was causing more worry by shutting myself down or putting my shields up, as it's now become known. I have no idea if I did the right thing for my sister that day; I'll ask her in a few years when my nephew is strong, healthy and running around playing rugby with his brother. I hope I did the right thing, but I have no idea. No one knows how they will react in that situation, I just did what I thought was right and however much my panic bubbled up inside me, I refused to acknowledge it was there.
If you have a baby or a child who is poorly (cold, tummy bug etc) and they develop a rash - TAKE THEM TO HOSPITAL! My sister caught the virus so early he actually developed the other symptoms (dislike of light, stiff neck, grumpiness) in hospital, which means he always had a fighting chance. My other sister has had to overcome an incredible guilt; she is a nurse and because the GP said he was fine, she said not to worry. We all have things to feel guilty about: I saw the rash spread to his foot, but it disappeared a few minutes later so I didn't think anything of it. The paediatrician put the situation into context for us, "had you brought him in last night we would have sent you home and told you to give him calpol, which is what you did, even if we'd kept him in to monitor, we would not have started treating him until now. You couldn't have done anything differently." She didn't have to say that, so I guess it's true, but it doesn't stop the odd moment of panic when I think of what might have happened...
Look out for these things:
Generally unwell with...
- a rash (even if it disappears under pressure),
- being grumpy,
- not wanting to be comforted,
- lethargic and very tired but unable to sleep,
- stiffness in neck and joints.
Don't panic, just get them to hospital!
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